I remember that day well. The light of torches cast a yellowish-brown glow on the cave walls which was strange as there were no torches to be seen, just the glow that they cast. I was deep within the cave, totally unprepared for the task at hand. No rope, no pickaxe, no shovel, nor flashlight. Just my jeans, Reebok Classics, and a button-up t-shirt. The portion of the cave I was in was large and very spacious with smaller tunnels going out in multiple directions. Strangely, there were no stalactites or stalagmites and the floor was rather smooth for the most part as were the walls save for some visible cracks.
Beside me stood my friend, a true knight if you ever saw one. Standing there in his shiny plate armor with a helmet under his arm, he seemed to tower over me. His red cape fastened to his armor with gold buckles only accented the black hair on his head and well-trimmed beard. A large broadsword hung sheathed at his side.
Before us was a large white porcelain bathtub with four claw-shaped legs with the claws themselves grasping white orbs that rested on the ground. Bubbles overflowed from the tub being displaced by the woman inside. The woman was my friend the knight’s wife. Her body could only be described as voluptuous. Full-bodied blonde hair that could only be described as silk-like emerged from her head up and out before flowing down and resting over her shoulders into the water. Ample sized breasts, almost too big for her body but not quite, rested floating in the water, nipples obscured by the bubbles. Her skin was smooth and flawless. Not a blemish to be seen anywhere. Not even a freckle.
“You must slay the dragon,” she told us.
“It will be done,” my friend said without hesitation. “Brother, come. Let us slay this monstrous beast together.” As he said this, he unsheathed his sword and then ran down a tunnel. I began to walk after him when his wife spoke from behind me.
“Wait!” she said. “I have a special task for you.” I stopped and turned around to hear what she had to say. “Slay my husband and I’ll let you fuck me.” For a moment, I was dumbfounded. Did she really just say what I thought she said?
“I dunno…” I hesitated. “That seems kinda mean. What happens if I say no?”
“Then you’ll have to fuck me in my true form.”
And immediately, her skin began to rot and shrivel up. Changing from a healthy glow to a dry greenish-brown, holes opened up in her body and maggots fell out them as beetles and centipedes crawled in and out of the various new orifices. Hair fell out leaving grayish-yellow strands that hung like old straw. Her eyes dried and shriveled up yet continued to watch me and while her teeth cracked and went from white to yellow.
I paused for a moment and contemplated my options.
“Point taken,” I said and made a hurried jog down the tunnel that my friend took.
The tunnel was very dark, almost pitch black, but I seemed to find my way through it very quickly and with no difficulty. When I reached my friend, he had his helmet on and was doing battle with a large black dragon. The dragon lunged at him slightly and he would wave his sword around and thrust in its general direction. Neither of them seemed to have even the slightest of injuries. He looked over his shoulder briefly to see me coming.
“Brother!” he shouted. “At last you have arrived. Now we can say this beast together.”
“I’m sorry, my friend,” I replied, “but I must kill you.”
He gave two or three more slight waves of his sword towards the dragon before stopping and turning to face me completely. He lowered his sword and even slightly his stance, terribly confused. When he spoke, I could sense a great sadness in his voice.
“But why, brother? Why would you do this?”
“Because if I don’t,” I explained, “I’ll have to fuck your wife in her true form.”
There was a pause of silence and as he took his helmet off, I could see on his face that he understood completely. It was clear that he wasn’t going to let that happen.
“I understand,” he said. He put his helmet under his right arm and handed me his sword. He slowly dropped to one knee and bowed his face to the floor. “It must be done.”
“I’m so sorry,” I said as I thrust his sword through his chest and killed him, the knight, my friend.